B'APE on STAGE

属于

2009-11-04T20:43:00.002+08:00

我。。。
到底属于哪？
好迷失。。。
不知该何去何从。
心里好沉重，
好想找到属于自己的地方。。。
总觉得好累
我需要一份动力。。。

If only time could be stopped...

2009-10-31T14:33:00.002+08:00

不希望时间继续的走。
不希望六个月后的到来。

如果可以我希望我能代替这一切。

因为医生预测奶奶只有六个月的寿命。。。

灰色空间

2009-09-28T21:20:00.002+08:00

what hurts the most is when u walked passed me like a stranger, when i'm down...

what am i???

nothing...

累

2009-09-21T22:52:00.002+08:00

心里的
疑惑
不安
仿佛就像块浮在水面上的木板，靠不着岸
总觉得心定不下来
好没安全感。。。
我需要一份肯定，一份安定
总是不断的往前跑，而又看不见前方的路，好累
好想就这样停下来休息，什么也不想做
会不会有一天老天终于看见我了
派一个伴和我一同跑？

haha.. 用华语果然比较有feel...=.=U

努力

2009-09-18T00:39:00.002+08:00

人。。。
因为习惯而爱，还是因爱而习惯？
能不能有份简简单单，不用理由的爱？
如果能压制，我会尽一切所能不爱
我会努力去忘记，去消除一切情感
我会努力地走在这一个人的路。
不依赖了
不期待了
不要求了
只想做回我自己。

能不能再... =D

2009-09-12T01:29:00.000+08:00

靠近一點點

默默在你的身后守侯的我
多想看你不经意的笑容
或许我的心你不懂
我努力让你感动
在你眼中有多么笨拙的我
决不放弃追逐你的执着
只要你能再多些回应我
一个笑或点头全接受
能不能再靠近一点点
大声说出你所有感觉
别在紧紧关在只有自己的世界
温暖太阳为你迎接
能不能再靠近一点点
能不能再勇敢一点点
就算让我知道我永远只是单恋
我也会藏着感谢笑着和你说再见

In the mist (The last of me)

2009-09-08T20:34:00.002+08:00

一直压抑在心中的情绪好像快要失去控制了。
对你的感觉越强，心中的情绪就越难控制。
好害怕自己有一天会忍不住向你表白，可能我们就不能像从前这样谈天说地了。一直都知道心里的感觉是这样的，但我更本就不想面对。只希望时间能淡化我对你的感情，至少我还能维持在这种距离看着你，和你谈天。
你的出现，带走了寂寞
你的出现，让我又想去爱
就算是远远的看着你我也觉得开心
有时想要正眼看着你，自己会紧张，心跳加速
你问我为什么会怕你？
因为每次的会面总会让我心跳加速，不知所措。
Even if so, I've got no chance. Just hope that time will wash away everything in me, and i can regain my old self. Hope that i'm always in the range where i can still see u,even if its your rear view,and continue the chat with you like how we did each day.
我讨厌我自己。。。

爱太痛

吃不能吃睡不能睡
没有了你全都不对
我都学不会把爱敷衍
用笑容来把眼泪催眠

笑不能笑哭不敢哭
人不像人鬼不像鬼
朋友都说这不过失恋
但我却连呼吸都胆怯

能不能不爱了因为爱太痛了
我痛得快死了却无法把你忘了
能不能不爱了爱情它太痛了
我痛得快死了却无法把爱割舍
... 我不能睡 ...

吃不能吃睡不能睡
没有了你全都不对
我都学不会把爱敷衍
用笑容来把眼泪催眠

能不能不爱了因为爱太痛了
我痛得快死了却无法把你忘了
能不能不爱了爱情它太痛了
我不能够不能够不爱了

我的寂屋

2009-09-07T22:45:00.000+08:00

Song:寂屋出租

我努力的习惯一个人的夜晚
只是想起你就会孤单
回忆像一碗热汤想念那么滚烫
只想要取暖却狠狠被烫伤

以为幸福值得勇敢
可惜最后还是走散
放手说真的不难
心碎该怎么计算

要搬过几个地方
换几个伴才到对的人身旁
寂寞的房灯光别开得太亮
到夜晚更无处躲藏

要搬到什么地方
有谁陪伴才决定停止流浪
寂寞的房装满出租的渴望
太冰冷的墙爱永远没有回答

我倒在沙发上闭上眼更害怕
只剩下电视陪着我说话
你有没有听到门铃好像在响

要搬过几个地方
换几个伴才到对的人身旁
寂寞的房灯光别开得太亮
到夜

我会学会面对寂寞。在这一个人的路途中，我会寻找属于自己的'光'。

Lonely

2009-03-31T23:00:00.000+08:00

Feelings are always hard to describe or put to words.
Time files, 3 weeks of attachment have passed. And this feeling is getting stronger each day. The sense of belonging, and being wanted.
Felt that i'm drifting further and further away from everyone.Cuz of my work, we don't really hangout that often anymore.Even during weekends,most have their own things and thus can't meet up.
Sometimes i asked for 1 or 2 to hangout with, but, always, they would ask "who got go ar?" and when i said "just us" they would say when there's more ppl then go out. But the funny thing is this, these ppl i asked, could actually just hangout with the other friend of mine. Why izzit this case? Cuz im not popular? Or not someone who can talk with? most probably ba...i guess no one really likes me cuz of who i am. I felt i've no best friend...
At work, life is very hectic in the office. You'll have to rush to get things done. And job is NEVER done! Just imagine that u've just finished this particular document and the next moment the boss will ask u to update the same document again for afew times before its finally confirmed. It's hell man!
At home,everyday, i have to keep a look out on my grandma, esp at night, i've to be extra alert cuz she will have difficulty in breathing when she's slping. I also have to organize her medi properly everyday before i set off to work, and came back from work. This has became a routine in life and also fear...
Haiz...life is so stressed up and so lonely...just how long can i hang on?

FCUK UP LIFE!

2008-12-05T13:40:00.000+08:00

TO ALL WHO LIKES TO LOOK DOWN ON PPL
FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U UNDERSTAND?!!!!!!!!!!!
Understand how others felt before u look down...instead of wasting time looking down, share your bloody knowledge with them. Although they may be slow but i gurantee they're willing to learn!

期待。。。

2008-08-28T23:52:00.000+08:00

My Life 一直在等待
空荡的口袋
想在裡面放一份爱
Why 总是被打败
真的好无奈
其实我实实在在
不管帅不帅
想要找回来自己的节拍
所以这一次
我想勇敢大声说出来
期待期待你发现我的爱无所不在我自然而然的关怀
妳的存在心灵感应的方向
我一眼就看出来
是因为爱
我猜你早已发现我的爱
绕几个弯越靠近越明白
不要走开
幸福的开始就是放手去爱
...

Filming

2008-07-24T14:30:00.000+08:00

Today mediacorp came to my dad's shop to flim. Actually it wasn't the 1st time liao. But still, quite excited to see how the fliming goes since the last time i wasn't there. They're actually fliming the 7pm show, "新花朵朵开" (not sure the name is spelled correctly ot not). Saw Felicia Chin in person and talked to her, and she also bought so of our products after the fliming is done to treat the crews. She's very pretty in person, and also a very talkative one, and well-mannered too. Well, the process of fliming is so sophisticated, whereby they have to connect this equipment to that, and goes on...
The filming last nearly an hour. You will get amused by how serious they were when they're working and also the number of times they have to do and repeat the same action and sentence. But of cos there was also jokes and laughter. The director has a very kind face.He's a perfectionist. With abit of noises from the car, or passer-by walked pass the camera screen, or even the expression on the artists face,just minor mistakes, he would shout "CUT!"
Also, i saw Zhang Yao Dong (aka Machi in the show), Cheng Li Zhen(aka Machi's aunt). They're quite friendly in person, and Cheng Li Zhen even talked to my Ah ma.
Well, being a celebrity is not easy cuz if it was me to be the one repeating and doing the same thing again and again, i surely will get pissed.
That's all folks. Updating again when i'm free. Till then...

Happiness dun last

2008-07-20T15:00:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was like so happy lah, finally got chance to talk to her liao. 1st time we've talked for so long. Usually when i talk to her she will answer those qns i asked and then nothing more to say liao if i stop shooting out qns.
Have been stopped talking since i duno what to talk abt and also, i felt that i'm a nuisance to her. So, to stop being a nuisance and annoy her, i stopped talking to her. But well, finally i got a chance. Ystd saw her put in msn says she's having headache, so i asked her to take gd care. Usually she'll just say a "thanks" and stop talking to me le. Never did i expect her to start talking to me. This was the 1st time she started asking me qns on her own and also tell me more about herself. So happy~ Although deep within me i got a feeling that cuz she's stress and need someone to talk to. But i didn't mind listening to her sighing and her grumbling abt tests, projects, etc... I secretly wished it can continue on and on and on.... Hopefully she's feeling better now, and least stress.
However, just as i thought we're closer after ystd talk, it doesn't appeared the way i thought it should be. Today, as usual, we're back to our "stranger" self. Quiet...just like last time. The bright flame of happiness ystd, suddenly became blunt and dull. But whatever the circumstance, i will preserve this last bit of flame left. Haha...hope you can do well in your final yr, and find a gd guy outside...

Life...

2008-07-19T15:00:00.000+08:00

What's life about? Well, i guess everyone has got their own explaination to life. For me, i feel that life is in your own hands. You create your own life, enriching it, making it interesting. But still, saying is easier then to be done. Life now is seriously bored!!! It's as if a routine, a cycle... everyday, juz wake up n prepare to go sch...and after sch, got home n start working. Hate this kinda life. Boring, plus no life, plus doesn't suit me at all! Hope life can start changing from now. Haha gonna do stupid things to get me out of this boring lifestyle i'm leading.

Mystery in this world

2008-07-13T23:05:00.000+08:00

Finally i'm back again writing...have been ages since i last touched my blog liao...
Well, this year is exceptionally busy due to those lab reports, PBL, presentation, etc... I hardly had any time to watch my fav anime/ taiwan drama since i'm so busy.
However, i've been quite into arts central recently on their documentary since i do not have SCV at home. There's 1 documentary which I must not miss matter what! "Destination Truth". This documentary is totally awesome as it uses scientific point of view to explain the paranormal activity of the "Whatever" thing they're investigating with. Host George Lanker (not sure about his surname) formed a 5 to 6 men team, equipped with the latest technology and travel all ard the world to perform their investigation. Cool isn't it? How i wish i was in that team. Usually their investigation subjects are those legends which are passed down for centuries, or those articles who claims that monster/ strange creatures are spotted somewhere.
This is the kinda adventure i would wanna experience cuz its thrilling. If there's a chance, i would wanna go experience it myself man.
So much for that...
Will be back again~

P.S:Rmb to watch Destination Truth, last 2 epi liao. Thrus, 10pm @ art central.

Sentosa

2008-04-03T23:09:00.000+08:00

Today is my 1st day of work in Sentosa.
Quite fun & relax over there. But i was feeling somewhat tired and sleepy. Cuz today was the last day of my chalet,and i head straight for work after that =o=zZ.
When i got there,it was juz right and we started our training. Quite boring cuz we're juz hearing our supervisor talk...talk...talk...non stop...
Got the uniforms,dun really like it cuz i looked like a "cleaner" probably due to my face?! I duno. But 1 thing for sure,they're very very strict in attire.
Uniform is quite big for me esp my long pants. However i can't change cuz its the only pants which can fit me.
Finally,i'm being posted to my station. The BEST place. Wahaha...u can see alot of babes,hunks,etc... At night can view the fireworks from the song of the sea. Nice yea? Though gotta stand whole day,but guess i'm used to it during CCA training,that's y i dun feel any leg pain.
Hope the coming days will be better. I've made lots of friends today. They're fun ppl. What's next? hmmmm...

朋友

2008-04-01T12:40:00.000+08:00

时光飞逝，彼此的距离也随着时间的飞逝而拉长。。。
不知为什么每当自己感到寂寞时总会回忆起小时候和志豪在联络所一同打球的欢乐时光。
总觉得自己不属于这世界，因为曾经体验过，经历过，见到过的事物都不曾在脑海中留下回忆。
自己所能记起的唯一回忆就是在联络所打球的欢乐时光了。这是对我来说最深刻，也是最真实的唯一回忆了。
真的好想回到以前的日子呀！好怀念。。。好想念。。。
总认为既然从小就认识，感情一向都不错，我自然而然就是志豪最要好的朋友。
然而，我错了。
一直以来，我都是把志当做我人生中最要好的朋友，甚至“兄弟”。
但，直到近日才发现原来我只是一个让志讨厌的人。心理有种说不出的难过。
虽然心知志对我的想法，但自己还是像以前那样在他面前嬉皮笑脸的。
为了。。。
不想影响彼此的友谊，如果他还当我是朋友的话吧。
还是小时候好，彼此没任何的讨厌，没嫉妒，只是简简单单开开心心的做朋友，一同打球，玩乐。

Ruby's 19th birthday

2008-03-22T15:09:00.000+08:00

Birthday girl coming...=.=u
Birthday girl's bf going to surprise her... (><,) ****~Make a wish~****
Oh! Beautiful portray of them

The couples in the gang
I'm da cook!!! Darius is the rat who eat my cooked food!
I thought monk should not think or touch girls?!
F5 girls

Darius U jump i jump~...
sabrina only the one with the sunshine smilezZ...
We're PHPPS ppl!
> Darius,zhi hao,me,simin < Me & my bf =X

OMG!... 2 couple 1 gay couple -.-"

That's us... the gang (^.^Y
We're from "JC"....respect hor!
Bukit batok sec ppl...without them,life is no fun...
~We're the hunks~

Diaonn~....bo liao
>Reach up for the stars~*
Sabrina your leg is at my BUTT?!
Kena rape...HELP~!!!
OH... Lovely~(1000 hand buddha)
~JUMPER~
U've no idea how many times we've jumped to get this perfect shot!!!

致亲爱的佳丽，敏妮，milk

2008-03-20T00:26:00.000+08:00

欢乐的时光总是过得特别快
一转眼我们已认识了九天了
时间虽然不长，但和你们在一起非常的轻松自在。烦恼也随着被抛到九霄云外。
工作虽然辛苦但我们也在工作时有说有笑，所以觉得时间过得特别快。
或许是缘分吧。。。
这种可遇不可求的机缘让我们在这短短的时间里建立起一段这么美好的友谊。
虽然你们已回国，但我坚信大伙儿一定会再见的。
期待这一天的到来。。。

2008-02-04T22:39:00.000+08:00

寂寞就如同太阳不再生起照耀这个地球。地球就会因失去了太阳的光和热而瞬间变得冷冷清清，没有一丝的温暖。
寂寞的感觉真不好受。每天放了学，回到家中，就只能对着四面冷冰冰的墙。虽然天天都能看见父母，可是总是话不投机，半句多。。。尤其是老爸总是不离我。
在学校，虽然每天嘻嘻哈哈像个疯子，但是那只能让自己暂时忘掉一切的不快乐和压力。事实上，总觉得自己是个圈外人。因为总是不懂班上的人在说什么。觉得好没有归属感。Although i noe,there're some in the class don't really like me. Probably cuz i'm irritating, or wadeva reason, but i tink i irritate ppl so much is juz to get more attention. Ever since i stepped into poly,i realized that i've nth to pay attention for cuz i don't hv any speciality but talking cock which others don't like to listen.
Well...enough of the grumbling liao...i'm also sick of it...juz hope that i can make some close frens in poly who can talk and joke tgt. Haha...juz suddenly felt so emo....zZz

2008-01-29T21:54:00.000+08:00

LOL...sry everyone haha abit lazy to post these days...actually shuld say i'm abit too busy to blog liao. Have to rush project,study for test,helping out in shop,etc..SIAN~!
Hm...today is a horrible day. 3 TESTS in 1 single DAY!!!! Damn stress man <[X_x]> In da morning was OBC practical. Quite easy though cuz we've done the experiment last week. But the procedure sucks!!! Its soOO LONG LONG LONG...zZZ. Not only that, the odour produced frm the solution/ppt will kill U! Its super super smelly!!! Even more smelly then my fart!!! Lab expt alr like wanna die alrdy i wonder how wuld it be like if we're now wrking in the industry lol.
Following is OBC test on Cellular respiration. Its quite a easy test,but although i can do the test but i still don't get how the ETC works! Asked ping fu to teach me,but still its too 'chim' for me to understand his explaination.
The last test of the day is ICBE. The killer subject whereby it will make u go nuts! U hv to be very very careful with ur calculations or else everything will be wrong! "Wah-La" I dun get it,i understand the qns,and the logic behind but Y...Y...Y... i still can't get the answer T.T that's wad i hate abt this module. It appears to be easy but in fact,its the HARDEST!!!! I DIE DIE will pass ICBE! I dun wan stay back to retake it again!!!

2007-12-05T14:10:00.000+08:00

Time now 10.01pm,and what am i doing? SLACKING~
CT is next week,yet I haven't started my revision...DIE~ but luckily this semester,i understand most of the lesson ( excluding OBC,and EM2 ) which only leave me with ICBE. Hopefully i can score for ICBE, and other modules too.
Okay that's about now...lets talk about what i've done today.
Eh...as usual late for morning practical lesson together with whole class.After which go to eat with glenn & gangs at some stupid places (i won't mention where)Next we went into a "wu-lu" place oppsite my house as pf they all wanna play LAN. I was being dragged down my pf to accompany him to play Dota,but i don't know how to play,so he teach me. Quite fun. but the character are too small liao,very difficult to spot.Anyway,that's it for today. Got to go accompany my sista liao.

2007-12-01T15:53:00.000+08:00

What have happened to me recently?
Somehow i felt rather depressed deep down in my heart,because i feel that i'm very useless. I've no speciality. All i know is to talk some meaningless craps and that's all i know. I sucks at my work,cuz i'm very slow in understanding things therefore very often,always cuz trouble to teacher & friends around me to teach me. Sometimes,i really envy those ppl like pf,vivien,celest they all cuz they understand things very fast although they aren't as attentive as me during lesson besides pf.
Today I suddenly realized i'm actually of no use when doing a group project cuz i can't bring out anything even though deep within me,i really wish to help out abit...even if its just abit...i'll be satisfied.
Today,after lecture at 4pm, me,chicken,qi hua,wee kiat,pf went to do our OBC project everyone seems to know what to do except me.Chicken & pf are using their knowledge acquired from lessons to discuss,wk & qi hua are searching for info. Only me sitting down there doin nth and listen to the discussion between chicken & pf. I was then thinking how can i suggest anything...juz anything even if it's not that significant to add into their discussion to help out abit. But in the end i was searching through my mind of what hv i learnt? And i've got "NOTHING" in my mind. So for the whole session i just sat down there and kept quiet,thinking "What can I do to help?" but still nth come across my mind...haiz...really wished that i can be better so that i won't trouble anyone and also at least can be of a little aid to the team.
Well... hope the upcoming days will be better for me bah.

2007-11-27T14:48:00.000+08:00

Hm...does anyone recognize him? He's 郝邵文,a HongKong little star back in a couple of years ago. I like his movie coz it's very funny and also cute in some ways. He's like the "LIVE" version of Crayon Shin Chan a.k.a 蜡笔小新. However,the sad thing is that i can't find any of his movie outside now coz it's like 10 plus years ago,or even longer... even if i managed to download the movie,it doesn't contain sub-titles which is very hard for me to understand the language(cantonese) coz i don't speak canto. Hopefully 1 day i can find the subbed movie so i can better understand it,and laugh to my heart contend.

PROJECTS~!!!

2007-11-26T22:22:00.000+08:00

Recently quite stressed up coz the projects are like nvr ending work. No matter how many i've completed,or how fast i completed it,it just pops out 1 after another.SianzZz...
Anyway,today is quite fun having the CATS discussion with Nazri & Isabel. They're very gd teamplayers who co-operates very well. Great to have them as a team. [^v^]